sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
