these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have demons in me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
