just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
