ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
