Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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