Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize