Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
