Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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