Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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