Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
