Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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