a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I pour the whiskey from now on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
