you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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