I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
