John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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