then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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