marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he puts the penis in happiness.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
