dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
