So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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