we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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