A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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