apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
