you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
