Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
