It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
apparently the secret to your success is patron
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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