Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
