Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
