we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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