So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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