Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
