No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ttyl tear gas
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
