When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
