even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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