wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
