a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
