i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
