Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
