You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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