OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
