he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
