is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
