If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
