I got chris browned last night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just google imaged poop.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
