I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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