Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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