i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
