Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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