eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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