Porn is love you can see.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
