Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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