Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
