Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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