lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize