I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
