the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
