wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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