All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
