i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wear drunk well.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
