I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
