There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
