ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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