Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize