So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
