I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
